Tuesday, October 04, 2011

all spice

I have a problem with spanking. I've never been against spanking, per se...you know, spare the rod and spoil the child and all that. Plus, I try to withhold passing judgment on how other people discipline their children because every child is different and requires different methods.
I've never had a problem with spanking, but I didn't want to spank my child. Well, I've said before that Cate often pushes me out of my comfort zone, and this is one of those areas. I love her, you know that. (If not, see previous post.) But I've got to be honest here, that girl is ornery. She's got a mean streak a mile long. The last week or so has been the kind of week where I'm ready to throw up my hands and give up at being a parent. (Because I don't feel very good at it right now, and I tend to quit things I'm not good at. Character flaw.) But that's the thing about parenting, you're not really allowed to give up.
This girl has a knack for finding my weaknesses- both emotional and physical. I'll give you an example of each:
Cate ran a little fever yesterday, so I thought I should keep her indoors. We stayed home all day. ALL DAY. Inside. Cory didn't get home until around 6:30, and I had had virtually no adult interaction. Plus she was really whiney. I was feeling pretty blah about myself and life in general, and Cate had just been tap dancing on my last nerve since before my alarm went off in the morning. (How is it that she always comes into my bedroom at least 5 minutes before the alarm?! Why can't I even get up early for some alone time?!) So I'll admit it, I was looking forward to bedtime, when I could just space out for a little while and hang out with my husband.
Right. We must have put her back in bed twenty times. I took away every stuffed animal she sleeps with and told her she could not watch Pingu (ugh, that's a whole other story) the next day. We thought she was asleep, so Cory got in the shower and I got in bed. Then I had to put her back to bed three more times. When Cory got out, I was rolled into a ball crying and Cate was lying in his spot. Ever the chivalrous husband, he could see something had to be done. He proceded to tell her he would spank her if she got out of bed again. And then he did.
And then he laid on the floor next to her bed until she fell asleep.
So that's my emotional example. My physical example is just that she's always elbowing me in the boob which is really painful/annoying and she's always pinching the flabby part of my belly which is really obnoxious/infuriating.

Other instances this week that may or may not have brought on spankings:
-Cate purposefully locked herself in the bathroom twice to keep me and E (the other toddler I keep) out. When I put tape over the lock, and she realized she couldn't get it off, she had a spectacular melt-down.
-When I have to go to the bathroom she races me to it, and tries to use it before me! Most of the time it's not a big deal, I just wait until she's done pretending to go and then I go. But this one time I really had to go! So I had to hold her away from me (stiff-armed) while I used the bathroom and she tried to use all her little toddler strength to get at me. Afterward, she cried for 5 min. straight, immediately stopped and then came into the kitchen and peed in the chair.
-She intentionally threw sand in a little boy's eyes at the park.
-She tried to pee on my foot, which takes some devious plotting for a girl, if you think about it.

So I don't know. Lord, help me. I've told her if she intentionally t-t's anywhere except the potty she will get a spanking. The Play-dough reward for staying in her bed works about half the time. Taking Pingu away seemed to make somewhat of an impression. We shall see.
Sometimes it's just all spice and no sugar.


Grandi said...

Great blog Jessica! I dont know whether to laugh or cry, conjures up a lot of memories. Our sweet girl is very strong-willed! Just remember you are the most important person in her life, that is why she is after you,lol. Hang in there. "Never let them see you sweat". Sorry, had to say that.
Love you and you are a wonderful Mom

Sarai said...

oh, glimpses into my future, I'm sure. I am anti-spank....and I let Ollie push me around way too much. I may be creating a monster.

CSauce said...

I couldn't help but laugh when I read this post! I can relate to you on so many levels, especially the physical annoyances. Sore boobs and mommy-tummy slaps (as I like to call them) are all too common with us.

You are a wonderful mommy and I love that you are so open about both the bad and beautiful that is parenting.

Wish I lived closer to you!