Saturday, May 17, 2008

practicing for the big one

I like reading about runners. Hearing about someone else's success is inspiring and makes me want to conquer a new goal. This week though, while I was discouraged and angry, trying to make myself run more than 20 yards at a time, I was thinking how nobody ever writes about those kinds of running days. And who could blame them really; there's nothing particularly exciting or interesting about trying to run, realizing that bacon you had for breakfast is now trying to poke through your sides or weigh down your belly, and having to walk instead. We talk about our successes and not necessarily all the failures we have to go through to get there.
So after I had my I-can't-do-this I'll-have-to-walk day, I had an ok run the next day. Nothing to brag or blog about, but ok. Then the work week started and I went out to run again on Tuesday. It was painful and hot. My side was splitting, I was sweating, I rubbed a blister on my toe, I broke another pair of sunglasses, and it was all I could do to run 3 miles. "Three runs in a row of crap!" I was telling myself.
Oh but glorious Friday. It was 72 degrees with a slight breeze. I was beat down by work, but Cory encouraged me to go run. We didn't really talk about how long we were going, and I just wanted to do better than I had been. So we ran, and it was beautiful. We ran a 10k! After work even!
All that to say that in this world of instant gratification, I think people get discouraged really easily. I'm one of the guiltiest- if I'm not good at it the first time, I'm probably not going to do it again. And I think there's a life parallel in the running scenario- that sometimes I have to go through several little hurts to prepare me for a big one. And it doesn't make the big hurt any easier; it just makes me stronger and better prepared to deal with it.
It's been a tough month so far, which is the reason for the blogging hiatus. I think that God's doing some work in me though, and I'll come out on the other side changed. And even if practicing little hurts and getting through big ones doesn't sound fun or even possible; if He thinks it's worthwhile, I can trust in that.

P.S. The title of my blog came from a coworker who told me I was no good at lying. She said you have to tell little lies, so that when you have to tell a big one, you'll be good at it. "I'm practicing for the big one!" she said. That made me smile.


Scott & Diana Latham said...

Love your words, Jessica. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, your struggles and your triumphs. You blessed me today. Love you.

Carleigh Latham said...

You go girl!!!!
Thank you for sharing.
Your words meant a lot to me,